


Interrupted Wedding

by prince_yoongi



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Weddings, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8991694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_yoongi/pseuds/prince_yoongi
Summary: Phil's been in love with Dan for as long as he can remember, but he never told him. Now Dan's getting married and Phil has to decide if he's going to tell him, or leave.





	

~Phil~

"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow" Dan said, grabbing his drink off the coffee table in front of us.

"Neither can I" I said with a slight frown.

"I've waited so long for this day" Dan continued. "And it's finally here, tomorrow I'm going to be married to the most wonderful person on the planet" I felt my heart skip a beat. "We're going to be the happiest couple in the world, and everyone will be jealous of us"

"Yeah" Dan held up his drink to me.

"To me" I tapped my glass against his half-heartedly and we both took a drink. "And to hoping the wedding goes well"

"To you" I took a deep breath. "And the wedding" he looked so happy, sitting on my couch. He was beaming, happiness was practically radiating from him. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy.

Even if it wasn't with me.

"So how's Daisy?" I asked, though I didn't want to. Dan's smile fades a little.

"She's stressed about the whole thing. She wants everything to be perfect" she always had to have everything perfect. That's why she liked Dan so much. He was perfect.

"I'm sure everything will be great" I took a long drink. "I'm sorry I can't be there"

"It's not your fault you have to work" He said as he pushed my shoulder playfully. "I still think you should've let me talk to your manager. I'm very persuasive" I glanced down, trying to hide the obvious guilt on my face. I hated lying to him.

"The last thing I need is you yelling at my boss" I joked.

"But I need my best man at my wedding" I looked into his eyes. I knew it really hurt him that I couldn't be there, but it would hurt me infinitely more if I was standing there watching him with her. "It won't be the same without you there"

Before I could say anything, his phone rang.

"Daisy!" Dan said, his voice cracking a little. He seemed so happy. I'd never seen anyone this happy before. "What's up?" He nodded as he listened to her. "Alright, calm down-" I could hear her yelling at him. "Sweetie, it's going to be fine-" he frowned into the phone. "So a few tables aren't going to have flowers on them, it's not the end of the world!" he said with a hint of irritation in his voice. Daisy was yelling at him now. "No, I know!" I looked down, trying not to look like I was spying on his conversation. "Fuck, I'm sorry alright!" he rubbed his eyes. "Whatever. You're right. What kind of wedding would it be if three fucking tables didn't have flowers on them. It's not like we're there because we love each other or anything" he hung up on her.

"Jesus Christ" he said with his head in his hands. She didn't deserve him.

"Everything okay?" I asked, even though I already knew. He downed his drink before answering.

"The florist didn't order enough flowers for all the tables and Daisy doesn't have anything to put on those tables" he reached for another can. "She's acting like its the end of the world" his face was full of pain. She was hurting him. Here he was talking about how tomorrow was going to be the happiest day of his life, and all she was worried about was the table decorations.

I couldn't let him do this.

I could make him so happy.

"But it's whatever, right" Dan continued. "Everyone gets stressed before their wedding, right?"

"Wouldn't know" I said, barely masking my sadness. Dan looked at me, and then looked away.

"You know she spent more money on her dress than all tuxes for me and my groomsmen" my eyes widened.

"Seriously?" he smiled thinly.

"Yeah, and she's only going to wear to once. But it is her wedding so it's okay, right?" I knew he wasn't asking me, he was just trying to get it all out before tomorrow. That's what I'd been to him the last few months. A person to rant to.

"Right" I glanced at the clock. He was probably going to go soon.

I felt a sudden bolt of panic run through me. I couldn't let him do this. Not without telling him. If I didn't tell him now, I never could. I couldn't tell him after he was married. That wouldn't be fair. But I could tell him now.

It was selfish of me to do it, but I never claimed to be a great person.

"-and then she yelled at me for not knowing that she didn't like the color blue. Like, who doesn't like blue? And I argued that it was punch, and that the color didn't matter as long as we liked how it tasted-" I realized he was still ranting to me. I felt the words bubbling up in my throat. They were rushing towards my mouth.

I was going to tell him.

"-And don't even get me started on her father. He hates my guts. I mean, he's never said that to my face, but I can just tell. You know? It's the way he looks at me, and his voice gets louder when he talks to me. Like he's constantly angry with me. I never did anything to him! Maybe it's just because I'm marrying his daughter-"

The words were on the tip of my tongue. They were pushing on my throat. It was physically hurting me to not say them. Every second that I waited felt like death. I was slowly dying on the inside.

"-she told me that she wants to live in the country eventually. I love living in the city, and I can't stand the country. It's too quiet. And it takes forever to get anywhere. But marriage is all about compromises, right? Like I get to work at BBC even though I don't make as much money as I would at other jobs, as long as we don't have kids" his face crumpled for a minute, and then he was smiling again like nothing happened. "Daisy doesn't want kids. Which is fine! She might eventually change her mind. Or not, which is fine too!" It wasn't fine. He used to always talk about how much he wanted kids. Then he met Daisy, and she changed him. She made him into what she wanted.

She made him into her perfect man.

And it was killing him.

But the worst part was he thought it was okay.

"Dan-" I blurted out before I could stop myself. He looked at me, stopping his rant mid-sentence.

"What?" I looked into his deep brown eyes. I could see the real him buried in there. My Dan was still in there somewhere. The Dan that couldn't shut up about the things he loved. The Dan that threw unnecessary curses into every sentence. Who wore black clothes all the time not because he was rebelling, but because he genuinely liked the color black. The Dan that fucked up a lot, and learned from his mistakes.

My Dan.

The real Dan.

I would make him so happy. I could love him. We could live in the city, and we could adopt kids. I knew he loved kids. We could have a small wedding like he wants; one without all this drama and stupid planning.

I could love him better than her.

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I pulled on my hair and scooted away from him. Dan looked concerned, and he scooted closer to me.

"Phil, what's wrong?" I shook my head exasperatedly.

"I- can't tell you!" It would be wrong. I couldn't do that. It would hurt him. It would hurt the both of us.

"You can tell me anything, don't you know that by now?" he said, putting his hand on my arm. "C'mon. What's bothering you?" I hated it when he was so damn sweet. I looked at his hand, and he quickly pulled it away. I slumped my shoulders in disappointment.

"I-" I shook my head. "No" I wasn't going to do it. It would ruin everything. It would ruin our friendship, it would possibly affect his wedding. And he would tell Daisy, he told her everything. She wouldn't let him see me anymore if she knew.

If she knew that I loved him.

"Tell me" Dan said again. I tensed.

It would be so easy to just tell him.

But I loved him.

So I would let him be happy.

I grit my teeth and forced a sad smile.

"I'm really sorry I can't be there tomorrow" Dan rested his hand on my leg.

"Hey, I told you it's okay" I stared at his hand. "I know you would be there if you could" I nodded numbly. "Now come on" he reached for another beer. "Help me enjoy my last night as a bachelor" I took the beer from his hand.

This made me a good person... right?

 

 

The next day

 

I'm a good person. I'm a good person. I'm a good person.

I was pacing the floor, repeating this over and over. I hadn't slept all night. I tossed and turned imaging him with her. Forever. One they were married, he wouldn't leave her. No matter how unhappy they got. He believed everyone could work their problems.

I checked my watch for the third time in the last four minutes.

2:27

The wedding started at three.

He was going to be married within the hour.

My time was up.

I would never tell him.

I was going to have to live the rest of my life carrying this secret. I was going to have to hide my love forever. I had to move on.

I was never going to get the chance to love him. To hold him. Kiss him.

He was never going to know how much I loved him. How much I cared for him. How much he was hurting me.

He was never going to know.

 

I don't remember getting into the car. I don't remember deciding to move. It was like I blacked out, and then all of a sudden I was standing outside the church. They were inside.

2:59

Before I could tell myself it was a bad idea, I burst through the doors and ran down the hall. I knew exactly where to go, having been here multiple times with Dan during the planning. I was walking so fast that I kept tripping over my feet.

I couldn't stop. If I stopped, I would never tell him.

I threw the door open and found him sitting on the couch in his tux. He looked up at me, startled, and grinned.

"Phil!" he exclaimed excitedly. "You're here! How did you-"

"Shut up" I said frantically. He frowned. "I'm going to tell you something" my words were coming out so fast that I started to mix them up. "I know I should- shouldn't tell you. It's really selfish of me but I don't care right in this moment" Dan looked at me skeptically.

"Okay?" I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.

"I- I love you" I stuttered out.

"I love you too" Dan said, confused. I shook my head.

"No, that's not what I meant" I walked over and sat on the other side of the couch. "I'm in love with you" I braced myself for his reaction.

"...Oh" was all he said. I thought I saw something in his eyes, but then it quickly disappeared. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Oh?" my voice cracked.

"Oh" he was silent for a minute. "I can't-" his voice was thick, and he wouldn't look at me.

"You don't have to say anything" I sucked in a shaky breath. "I'm not asking for you to say something. I just had to tell you... I had to tell you before I left"

"What?" I took a moment to look at Dan. He looked beautiful in that suit. It fit him perfectly. He was going to be the perfect man that Daisy always wanted. He would do that for her.

"I'm leaving" I said with a sense of finality. "I don't know for how long. Maybe forever. But I just know that I can't be around you and her. I have to get away and clear my mind"

"But-" I held my finger up.

"Let me finish" he stopped. "It's not your fault. I knew what was going to happen when I fell in love with you. I could've prevented this. I could've distanced myself, or said that you were my best friend and that it was a terrible idea. But I didn't want to. I wanted to fall in love with you" I stood up, and Dan did too.

"There's just one more thing I have to know before I leave" I said. I could see the sadness in Dan's eyes. I knew this was hurting him, but being around them was killing me. "Did any part of you ever love me too?" my voice was almost a whisper as I said it. Dan's eyes filled with tears and he looked at me desperately.

"Phil-" I felt my heart stop in my chest.

"No" I took a step back abruptly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that" anything he said would just make this harder.

"Phil wait-!" Dan reached his arm out to grab me, but I stepped back again.

"No" I shook my head. "I'm sorry" This was a bad idea. I don't know why I came. "I- I can't- Goodbye" I turned around and ran out of the room without another word. My stomach was churning as I ran back out of the church. I could hear him calling after me, but I tried to block it out. 

 

~Dan~

I chased after him. But when I stepped out the doors of the church, he was gone.

He was gone.

I was probably never going to see him again. I ran my fingers through my hair, not caring that I was messing it up, as I thought about what just happened.

He loved me.

He was in love with me.

"Dude" my best man appeared out of nowhere and elbowed me in the side. When I found out Phil wasn't going to be at my wedding, I asked a friend from work to be best man, although in reality we weren't really that close. "You look like you're going to be sick" he said. "What's wrong?" I put my hand on my forehead.

"I can't do this-" he cut me off.

"Just breathe" he whispered in my ear as he ushered my back inside. "Everyone gets the pre-wedding jitters. You're going to be okay" I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. "Just remember what you're really doing here. Forget all the people, and the party." he said softly. "Don't think about that. Just think about Daisy"

Daisy.

I took a deep breath, and tried to push Phil out of my brain. I could deal with that later, right now I had wedding to think about. I didn't have time to think about him. And his stupid timing. 

 

 

She looked beautiful. I scanned my eye up and down her as she walked slowly down the isle. Daisy kept her eyes forward though she wasn't looking at me. Her hair cascaded down her back, and fell around her neck in curls. Her necklace glittered in the light from the chandeliers above her. I felt my breath go out of my body. She was so beautiful. He was so perfect.

She. She was so perfect.

My legs were shaking and I didn't know what to do with my hands as reached the front of the church and stood across from me. She handed her bouquet of flowers to her brides maid, and turned to face me. She grinned at me, and I smiled back. I blinked, and swore that it was Phil standing across from me, not Daisy. But when I blinked, she was back.

I felt sick to my stomach, and I felt like I was going to pass out.

I thought I could do this.

I couldn't do this.

"Dude" my best man whispered from behind me. "Get your shit together. Don't be that guy that passes out at the alter" I heard the other groomsmen start to snicker. I squared my shoulders and looked into Daisy's eyes. I had to do this. I spent months planning this, getting to know Daisy. She really was amazing. Sure she was bossy at times and liked to have everything her way, but everybody had flaws.

Except for Phil.

Well, other than his shitty timing.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the officiant started. I vaguely heard him talking but everything started to get blurry. I tried to concentrate on breathing "-gathered here today to-" Breath in. "of Dan Howell and Daisy-" Breath out. "-Before we get started-" Breath in.

I couldn't do this.

Why couldn't I do this.

Phil.

Fuck.

I kept trying to push him out of my head, but he kept pushing his way back in. I couldn't let him do this. I couldn't let him leave. I might never see him again.

A wave of panic came over me at that thought.

I couldn't lose him.

Not now. Not like this.

This is his fault. I thought. If he had just told me sooner...

No.

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't leave Daisy here.

"Repeat after me" the man said. I blinked and realized that we were already at the vows. I went first. My throat cracked, and I almost forgot half of it, but I repeated it all successfully. Then it was Daisy's turn. She flawlessly repeated the vows, and even smiled through the whole thing.

I blew out a breath and tried not to think where Phil was right now. He probably went to the airport, and was flying out to see his family. That sounds like what he would do. I bet he was standing in line to buy a ticket. Watching all the people around him, occasionally get sidetracked by the advertisements on the walls.

Was he thinking of me? Was he imagining what I was doing right now? Was he sad?

The thought of something I did making Phil sad felt like a punch in the gut. 

I heard Daisy clear her throat and I realized that I must've been scowling at her. I gave her a sheepish looked before staring at the ground.

"Do you, Dan Howell, take Daisy Matthews to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the officiant asked. I froze.

This was the moment.

If I said yes there would be no turning back.

There would be no do-overs.

No second chances.

"I... I-" I looked at the crowd in fear and wished I was anywhere else but here in this moment.I couldn't say yes.

The word I said next would determine my future. My entire future was dependent on one word, so I had to choose wisely.

But, I had already chosen. I chose years ago. All this stalling wasn't going to change anything.

I chose him.

It was always him.

The crowd was starting to murmur, and Daisy got a weird look on her face. It was almost like she knew this was coming...

"No" I tuned out the reaction from everyone in the room, and believe me, there was a reaction. But instead I focused on Daisy.   
She looked pissed.

"Daisy..." I whispered. Everyone was talking, trying to decide what was happening, and the officiant was giving me an irritated look. "I'm sorry, I can't do this" I said desperately. "I'm so so sorry" she started to shake her head. "But I- I'm..." I clenched my fists. "I'm in love with someone else" Daisy's face crumpled as she realized what I was talking about.

"Oh"

"Daisy-" I reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled it away. "Daisy, wait I'm-"

"Save it" she said flatly. "Just go get him" I looked at her in surprise. "Don't play dumb with me. I knew you were in love with him from the moment I met you. Now go tell him before I punch you in the face"

I took a step back, towards the edge of the stage.

"What about all this?" I asked. "The guests... Our families..." Daisy shrugged.

"It doesn't really matter now, and clearly you've already made up you mind" she said, gesturing to me. I realized that I was already down the stairs. "And I guess this is what I get for trying to marry someone who was already in love"

"I'm so sorry, Daisy" I said as I started to back down the isle, still looking at her.

"Just go" I nodded. "And Dan," she called when I was almost to the door. "Don't you dare fuck this up" I turned around dashed out the door. 

 

I bribed my taxi driver to drive over the speed limit, praying that we wouldn't get pulled over. I didn't have any time to spare. I had to get to him before he left. I had to.

I tried calling him for the seventh time.

"Come on" I mumbled under my breath. "Pick up, pick up, pick up" It went to voicemail. "Dammit" the driver looked at me in the mirror.

"You're all dressed up" he commented. I nodded stiffly. "Could I ask you why you're leaving that wedding?" he asked. I had my head in my hands. Nothing was making sense right now. I don't know why I left Daisy. Something was wrong with me. I couldn't believe I did that. But the thought of marrying her, living with her, felt wrong when I knew how Phil felt about me.

"I- I- Just..." I stuttered. "I just walked out of my own wedding to chase after my best friend who told me that he was in love with me" I laughed dryly. "Oh my god. My life's a fucking sitcom" the driver didn't talk to me the rest of the way there.

The second we arrived at the airport, I threw some money to the front of the cab and dashed out. I ran through the front door and pushed through the crowds of people. He had to still be here. I scanned the sign above the ticket desk and saw a flight going to Phil's town. I checked the gate number and saw that it was flying out in just a few minutes. I bolted in the direction of the gate. I sent out a prayer to every god that I could think of that he would still be there, and that security wouldn't stop me before I got there.

Finally after what seemed like forever, I saw the gate.

"Whoa!" the lady at the desk yelled as I ran up to the desk. "May I see your ticket?" she asked. I tried to look around her.

"I don't have a ticket" I said frantically. "I'm trying to stop my friend!" she blocked me from getting around her.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you come back here. You have to have a ticket to get through" I grabbed my hair and pulled it, blowing out a breath.

I did not come all this way to miss him. I continued to scan the crowd, when they started to board.

"Ah shit. Phil!" I shouted. "Phil!" the lady glared at me.

"Sir! Please stop yelling. I'm sure your friend is okay" I ignored her.

"Phil! Please don't get on that plane!" I was desperate. If he got on that plane I might never see him again.

I might never get to tell him that I love him too.

The thought didn't startle me.

I loved him.

I really did. All these emotions were stirring up inside of me. I loved Phil. And not in the platonic way like I thought. I was in love with him. And I loved him my whole life. I had my secret in fear of what others would say. Of what Phil would say. I told myself that I could be 'normal' that I could be happy. I told myself that I could love Daisy, because Phil would never love me.

"Dan?" I heard a voice, breaking me of my thoughts. I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw him standing there in front of me.

"Phil..." I whispered. He frowned.

"What?" he yelled over the roar of voices. "I can't hear you!" I pushed against the barrier separating us. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to stop you!" I yelled. "I can't let you do this! You can't leave" Phil shook his head, starting to back up.

"I have to, Dan. I can't do this anymore. You don't know how much it hurts to be around you anymore. I'm going to move back home for a while. Please don't make this harder than it already is" I grabbed his hand as he started to turn around.

"Wait! Listen to me" he wouldn't look at me. "Phil, I love you!" his face fell. "I love you! I love you. I love you" I felt myself start to cry. "You can't leave me" Phil was crying too

"You don't really love me" he said. "You're just saying that so I won't leave" I shook my head in dispair. Why wouldn't he believe me?

"I left my fiancee for you! I ran out in the middle of my wedding! I... broke several laws trying to get here. I know what I'm feeling. You didn't give me a chance to tell you before you ran out" he didn't answer, but he wasn't leaving either. "You were always different Phil. Always. No one was like you. No one knows me like you do. No one is close to me like you. I've been in love with you since we were kids" my voice broke. "I thought I could hide it. I thought I could ignore it... and I did. I repressed and closed off parts of my mind. And it hurts, Phil. Every day it hurts worse than the day before. But the fact that you were happy was enough for me. That someone was going to make you happy in the future. I never... I never thought that I could actually- actually be the one to make you happy" I shuddered as tears started to cloud my eyes. "But I know that I could... but I might be too late" the announcer called for the last warning to board the plane.

I let go of Phil's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't see it before. I didn't know I was hurting you, Phil" I wiped the tears off my face and sniffed. "I'm sorry"

I could've had everything.

But instead I ruined it.

I turned to leave, accepting that I was too late.

"It's not your fault" I froze. "Dan, it's not your fault dammit" the lady tried to tell Phil that they were closing the doors to the plane but he waved her off. "It's my fault. I should've told you sooner. I should've told you- years ago! But I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn't love me back. That you would leave" he laughed. "But here I am, leaving you. God. How hypocritical am I?" I looked up at him sadly.

"You're still leaving?" my heart was in my throat. I was so close. I couldn't loose him now.

"I think that's what's best for us right now. I mean, you almost got married today. I'll go stay with my parents for a while and if we still want... in the future... maybe, maybe" he didn't finish the thought.

I don't know when we moved, but we were both back up against the barrier. "Now I have to go..." he glanced at the pissed off flight attendant by the door. If he didn't leave right now they were going to close the doors without him. He glanced at me one last time. "Goodbye, Dan"

I shook my head as she started to walk away from me. "No..." I shook my head harder. "Wait!" Phil stopped. Tears were still rolling down my face. My heart was pounding in my chest. I could lose him now. "Phil... of you leave now, this is is" I said desperately. "This is our moment. Our chance. If you leave now we may never have a chance to be something" he started to turn around, and I saw that he was crying as well. I felt a spark of hope.

"Please don't leave me" I whispered hoarsely. He was pressed up against the barrier now. We were so close.

"Dan, please-" I could feel his breath on my face. "I- I..."

"Shh..." his eyes were on my lips. I let out a shaky breath as I leaned closer. Our foreheads were touching and my lips grazed his. Phil let out a noise like a whimper, and I kissed him.

Phil dropped his bag and leaned across the barrier to wrapped his arms around me, deepening the kiss. The kiss was hard and needy. We needed this. We wanted this. I waited so long for this and god was it worth it.

He smiled against my mouth as I tugged on his bottom lip. There were butterflies in my chest when we finally broke apart.

"That was..." I touched my lips in wonderment. I had never felt something so breathtaking in my entire life.

"Yeah..." he had a smile stuck on his face. After a second we both broke out of our trance and realized that we were still in the airport.

Phil grabbed his bag and walked out of the gate, joining me on the other side. I grabbed his hand and we walked with through the airport.

Neither of us spoke for a while. We just walked silently through the busy airport until we were outside. Phil then called cab.

"Where are we going to go?" I asked. Phil shrugged.

"Home, I guess?" I chewed on my lip nervously. Everything was going to be different now. Nothing was going to be the same. "Did you really walk out on your own wedding?" Phil asked.

"No. I got married" I said flatly. "Yes I walked out. It was super embarrassing. You could've told me sooner, saved me some embarrassment" I grumbled. Phil smiled thinly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you right before your wedding" I shook my head.

"No, you shouldn't have. You should've told me a long time ago. That would've made things so much easier. But let's not talk about what we 'should have done' lets talk about what we're 'going to do'" I suggested.

"Honestly," Phil started. "I don't know what were going to do. I don't know whats going to happen, or how were going to do this" He squeezes my hand. "I just know that whatever I do, it's going to be with you"

Right now we weren't thinking about what we had done, or what we were going to do. We were just going to enjoy it. We had each other and right now that was all we needed.


End file.
